RaZaLiCiOuS

Let it go

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:40:40 GMT

Yea ha........I hope this will be my last post about angel. I found out dia sekarang dah falling in love with someone. So sad kan. Angel told me like nothing happened between us. Memang nothing happen pun. Raz yang S.S. kut. I think tak guna dahla Raz ingat dekat angel. I want to move on but i still love angel. I think angel know i love angel but maybe angel think it's not right. Whatever happened i still love angel. Now raz will try to let angel go. Biarlah dia happy dengan orang dia sayang. Raz memang selalu buat macam tu kat orang kan.

p/s: If you read all my post kan, angel, Raz memang sayang dekat u. I know things wont work between us. Good luck in ur future. Always pray de best for you dear

The Break Up

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:45:01 GMT

Guess what? Raz so stupid balik Kl yesterday. I forgot that tonight raz ada audition for Mass Communication idol! This is all because of me. Tak fikir panjang before buat apa2. Lagipun Raz memang nak some space. I'm sick and tired with all the people in Lendu. I know sometime we must be considerate tapi entah la. Diaorang semua sangatla menyakitkan hati plus i have no clique at all. Sediyhnye...bukan salah Raz pun tapi entah la. Two days in Kl pun tak ubah apa-apa.

Just now Raz chat with that person. The way thing happen between us sekarang pun dah lain. The that person talk to me pun dah lain. Layan macam xnak layan ja. Chat with angel 5 minutes pun Raz dah tahu dia dah tak interested dengan Raz dah. So what can i do? Move on je la even though benda ni sangat sakit. Because too much thinking of angel raz missed this year opportunity to audition for mass comm idol. I know i can do it and make it to the final stage. Tapi benda ni semua dah written down. Razaleigh Zain will not be able to attend the audition. I didnt put the blame dekat God. I know it is my own mistake. Starting from tomorrow I need to forget about angel. Senang la cakap berdoa banyak-banyak and nanti okay. Kalau dah tak nak macam-macam la suruh kita buat. Tapi sampai sekarang Raz memang sayang dia. Thing happened for a reason. Tak pernah mimpi pun akan baik dengan dia sampai tahap sekarang. Always pray the best la for angel.

What kind of person I am?

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 08:47:01 GMT

You're as nice and good as they come. Everyone loves you and you have a wonderful personality.

Am I? Entah la wye. Maybe kut! hehehehehehehehe. Well, this week banyak ups and down. First thing first. I won 2nd place in bussiness studies singing competition. Kena perform two songs. Raz sang " i dont want to be" by Gavin Degraw and " Everyday" High school musical sountrack, which Raz performed last 2 years and i have won it but maybe this time I have to be satisfied with 2nd place. Wh!at else yea? Oh ya! Raz amat sediyh this week. After holiday kan, me and that particular person tak spoke to each other sangat. Dia pun not feeling well sangat this week. I saw that person before i went to Kl with Chacha on thursday. Malas la nak gelar that person dah. I call that person as angel. I told angel that i'm going to KL and suruh dia makan ubat and rest. Angel did replied my sms. Tapi kita orang tak cakap sangat. Even when angel jumpa Raz pun, dia tak nak sangat cakap. Entah la why. Maybe dia malu to talk to me or maybe dia menyampah kut. I did asked angel whether dia ada marah at me or not, but angel said nothing la. Dia tired with things semua. I asked angel to come watch me perform tapi dia ada hal but even though angel not coming kan, angel did sms me, wish me good luck semua. Angel so sweet sangat. I really love you. All my life i've prayed for someone like you. I also pray that you will love me too. Entah la.....You came into my life waktu i was down, lonely. Like it meant to be la...

Does angel love me?

If yes why Raz number 5 erk? Only i know what it means.

I just hope kita akan rapat even as a friend. I will never find anyone sweeter than you. You close to me like my siblings. I really love you. Never mind even it wont work but please dont disconnect me from your life.

Sunday Morning

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:51:08 GMT

Morning semua. Funny giler! when i woke up just now,Raz terus on my lap top and write my blog. Entah semalam raz teringat kat dia. After long discussion with myself kan, Raz rasa i should forget about that person. Like it or not benda takkan jadi. I love that person so much. Raz tak nak ruined our friendship. Dia pun macam in the mood of falling in love with someone. Hopefully dia happy arr. Even raz sangat sedih but i think this is the best way. Dia takkan malu dengan orang as well as me kan. Sunday morning in Penang with all my family here.

A Happy beginning!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 02:49:39 GMT

I'm so happy! I don't know what else I want to say. This past couple of day is so meaningful to me. You leave me breathless. I can't believe that day I'm going to meet you. It just like a dream comes true for me. Thanks for walking in my dream. Even it just a while, it's feeling like forever.

Boring day at Lendu

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 09:14:45 GMT

I saw that person today! Wah.........start my blog dengan cerita dia. Biasala if Raz dah fall for someone, i will keep writing about that person over and over again. Boring la today here in lendu. I want to talk to that person la. Tapi as usual our conversation not last than 1 minutes. Both of us have nothing to talk about la. Hate studying in here. I'm hoping for miracle la. I know aku takkan dapat dia but entahla. Semakin i try nak lupa dia, semakin aku sayang dia. Entah la wye. I will feel bersalah giler if dia tahu aku sayang dia. Aku sangat benci diri aku wye. I dont want jumpa dia dah but semakin aku try avoid dia, aku akan selalu jumpa dia. Why God u give me this feeling? I'm not questioning YOU but Raz sediyh giler now. Why at the first place aku rapat dengan dia. Kalau la baik macam last semester. Just say hi je. Aku pun tak nak dia tahu aku sayang dia because it will make thing more worse. Aku memang sayang dia. Always pray for you . Cinta towards you will remain forever. As always kan, i will never be loved by anyone.

No Hope

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:18:56 GMT

Hi semua. Raz dah sedar hari ni that i will not have chance to complete my love towards that person. Raz memang sayangkan dia tapi Raz tahu difikiran dia tak pernah terlintas untuk menganggap Raz sebagai seorang yang harus menjadi temannya. Raz tahu dia sayang kat Raz tapi mungking sebagai seorang sahabat walaupun kita orang hanya baru rapat masa cuti semester yang lepas. I'll always love you. Even kita baru 3 bulan rapat, hari-hari bersama kamu in any ways pun amat bermakna wye. Tak kisah la kau cakap take care ke aper ke in your own word, Raz anggap that word sangat bermakna for me.

So,i have to live my life we that person as a friend. Raz nak dia tahu Raz amat sayang dia tapi let we stay as a friend sebab Raz tak nak dia hilang respect or tak nak kawan dengan Raz terus.

Happy valentine's day

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 11:44:15 GMT

Hello everyone. Happy valentine's day yea. As usual Raz tak celebrate pun sebab i have no one to celebrate with. I'm in Penang hari ni. Keluar dengan Zamir lepak je dekat Queensbay.

Raz dah over it things between Raz dengan my bestie. Tak kisah sangat pun dah. Sooner or later baikla kitaorang.

Entah why Raz rasa down giler today. As usual kalau my brother punya birthday everyone excited giler. My family celebrate my brother belated birthday today. Cake mahal and everyone happy sangat. Nak tahu what i have for my birthday? Erm.........My mum beli cake la but not expensive and delicious like my brother cake kan. Raz tak kisah pun as long my mum ingat dekat Raz. My sister pun bukanlah happy sangat waktu nak celebrate my birthday kan. Memang sediyh la kalau orang nampak masa Raz potong cake dulu. Only my father ja yang happy snapping all my cake picture masa tu. Kalau Raz balik penang cuti pun no one will care. Ajak my sister keluar selalu ja busy but when it comes to my brother, dia free je.

That not the worst part of my life yet la kan. Since i was form three, Raz cant even have the person i love. Imbas kembali masa 2005, Raz pernah fall in love dengan someone ni tapi banyak benda sediyh happened to me. It's been a long time now since Raz fall in love. Entah out of nowhere, Raz once again fall in love again dengan someone in my University. From starting Raz dah tahu it will go nowhere but semakin Raz cuba lupakan dia, semakin kuat my love ni. Kita baik sebagai kawan. Dia sangat sweet. Always tak pernah bosan sembang dengan Raz. Tapi kita orang jarang cakap. Macam mana tu erk? Suka sembang tapi jarang cakap. Fikirlah sendiri yea. Starting from this week kan Raz dah slow down cakap ngan dia. Kalau jumpa pun tak nak sangat tegur because if i keep talking and jumpa dia, my love akan bertambah. Omg! Why la I cant have you? Even though Raz tak mention things lagi dekat dia, i know it wont works. I dont want to ruin my friendship dengan dia. Raz tak mintak apa-apa just i hope God will listened all the talks in my heart and even just for a day kan kalau Raz dapat spend time dengan dia it will be so thankful.

I hope la dia celebrate atau tidak valentine's day ni dengan happy.

Why WYe WHy?

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 08:32:19 GMT

Erm......sediyh la lately ni. Kawan sendiri kata dah buat statement kata macam2. Dia tak kenal aku ke? Aku and Mr Z skit punya sayang kat dia. Dulu dia katakan kita belangkaskan tapi sekarang kata tak makan belangkas dah. Boleh ka dia kata macam tu? Aku lately ni ada macam2 masalah. Kita punya rindu dia then tup tup dia tulis dalam blog dia dia rindu zaman2 kanank2 ribena. Boleh ka dia kata macam tu? All those days dia dah lupa la. Even though Raz and Mr Z ada kawan-kawan lain and dia kata dia ada sikit kawan, kitaorang selalu ajak dia p mana-mana. Takpela Miss S. We all ingat apa yang kau tulis. Thanks la for appreciating our friendship this way. Remember one thing wye, those day were no faked. We love you sincerely and you ingat lain.

Cerita lain lak! Aku baru nak build new friendship with this person tapi boleh ka dia ingat lain. Ajak keluar lepak as member xnak sebab dua orang ja. Please la wye! Why la nak judge aku sampai macam ni. Aku just nak kawan2 tapi kau lak ingat lain. Apa2 jela......As long dia happy sudeyh. Rileks sudeyh.............

Alamak! I'm Falling in Love AGAIN.......

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 11:29:53 GMT

Boring la bila masuk je new semester, mulalah scanning people semua. Tapi, raz dah ada crush dekat this particular person since last semester. Boleh dikatakan love at the first sight la. Dia sweet and baik yang teramat. Siapa yang tak suka dia memang bodo la. Dia agak pemalu sikit and nampak sangat bila dia nak cakap ngan raz termalu-malu. That's make me lagi cair dengan dia. Tapi kan i know la at the end nanti bertepuk sebelah tangan. Actually raz malas nak cerita sangat dekat orang sebab tahu jela nanti havoc satu duniawi. But some of my friends, roomates know about my crush towards that person.

I cant imagine how my life would be if raz and that person together. If that happened, it will be the like drinking an orange juice with starbucks big cookies; that's my favourites! Hopefully la kan it will but i know it's going to be a dream je. Manalah orang will like me. Untill now kan, single je memanjang. Berani written this down sebab i know takde saper yang baca my blog pun accept my close friends je. I love you so much la wye......Please, please read my blog wye. Hahahahaha........tak malu sungguh la raz ni.

Cerita lain la plak. Raz gaduh dengan my best friend la. She marah sebab i dont like her new "boy" friend. Apa yang raz kisah. Sah sah laki tu ass kisser. Kononnye baik la......I know raz not supposed to hate him but arrghhhhh! He is so annoying even though dia tak pernah have serious conversation dengan raz pun. The worst part was when i asked my bestie does she still suka kawan dengan raz tak? She answered me "Bukan saya tak suka kawan dengan raz tapi tak tahan sebab saya nampak apa yang raz buat belakang that guy." What? dia kisah that guy so much over me. Geram kut! That guy dia baru kenal tak sampai 6-8 months nak sayang over-over lak. Kita yang dah kawan dengan dia nearly 4 years dia lupa dalam satu malam je. Raz memang still geram kat dia but at the same time raz rindu kat dia. Imagine la dulu kita orang plus Mr Z (bestie raz gak) macam belangkas. Mana-mana pun kita togetherness.

Tak kisah la.......Highlight of this post is raz dah jatuh cinta. Tapi kan my insting rasa it will not long last. Bukan my feeling la tapi entah la. Raz memang dah suka kat dia dari last semester tapi recently ni je kitaorang close. Apa-apa jela.....as long dia bahagia. Dapat tengok dia senyum pun raz seronok. Statement yang agak cliche macam orang-orang yang jatuh cinta tapi tak kesampaian.